Why I’m Soft Celebrating the Holidays

I tend to get a little anxious around the holidays. I appreciate the twinkly magic the season brings, but it can also be overwhelming . . . and then I inevitably feel guilty for being overwhelmed. (This is supposed to be the best time of year, after all.) As much as I love spending time with my family, it’s often a dizzying whirlpool of shopping, planning, decorating, wrapping, cooking, cleaning, and tending to obligations upon obligations. So, I’ve decided to start “soft celebrating” the holidays.

You’ve likely already heard of soft launching: the tactful art of publicly announcing a new relationship through subtle yet gradual hints. It’s a way of purposefully side-stepping pomp and circumstance. Well, soft celebrating is my made up way of saying that I’m going to spend the holiday season exactly as I see fit and without the usual expectations and imposing traditions. This year, for my husband and I, that means celebrating our first Christmas at home in Los Angeles with our cat, Carmy.

We initially approached the holidays automatically assuming we’d make the cross-country trip to Miami to spend Christmas there, as we typically do. But then, in the thick of the Thanksgiving fog, I thought to myself, do we really have to? Traveling during the holidays puts a strain on both our sanities and bank accounts, and frankly, I’d rather go home during a less busy time when I can meaningfully check in with family.

That’s when we made the decision to stay put and enjoy a quieter Christmas. We’ve decorated, but we skipped the tree (mostly due to the aforementioned cat). We’ll still do a Noche Buena dinner on Christmas Eve, but the menu will be a combination of the Cuban dishes I grew up with and new favorites. We don’t have a packed schedule, but we know we’d like to spend Christmas day at the beach. It’ll be simple, but it’ll be us.

It’ll be simple, but it’ll be us.

I realize this all might make me sound a bit like Scrooge, but I really do love the holidays — I would just like to actually enjoy them. I should also acknowledge that I absolutely anticipate missing my big family gathering. (I should say gatherings, plural, because my parents are divorced, so each holiday comes with multiple celebrations.)

I’ve only celebrated Christmas apart from my family one other time and it truthfully didn’t go great: I was still living in New York, and it was cold and lonely. I was already pretty unhappy living there, and ended up making the move out west the following year. That experience of course gave me pause going into another holiday away from my hometown, but I do have a good feeling about this year.

It’s been freeing to shed old traditions in favor of new memories. Plus, I’m entirely open to switching things up again and again. Who knows? Next year, we may very well spend the holidays with family in Miami like always, or perhaps we’ll decide to travel somewhere entirely different. In the meantime, I’m taking it slow (or soft) and steady.

Kelsey Garcia (she/her) is the associate content director of PS Balance, where she oversees lifestyle coverage, from relationships to parenting to financial wellness. Kelsey is passionate about travel, dating trends, and changes in the workplace. Before joining the PS team as an editorial assistant in 2015, she interned at Elle and Harper’s Bazaar, among other publications.