Cowgirl Sex Position Tips, According to Sex Therapists

The cowgirl sex position is one of those things that seems effortless but can be surprisingly tricky to get right. When you consider everything that goes into perfecting this position — the synchronization, the tempo, the depth — it’s no wonder you may have a hard time experiencing the same orgasm you get from your favorite sex toy.

But even though the cowgirl position isn’t as natural of a movement as you may think, that doesn’t mean it can’t be mastered. In fact, when you learn how to do the cowgirl sex position, you’ll realize that it perfectly positions you to hit the most sensitive erogenous zones. (Hello, intense, mind-blowing orgasms.)

If you want to experience the hype for yourself, you’ve come to the right place. According to two sex experts, here’s how to make the cowgirl sex position feel less like a leg-day workout and more like what you see in sexy shows on Netflix. Enjoy!

Experts Featured in This Article

Aliyah Moore, PhD, is a certified sex and relationship therapist with a doctorate in gender and sexuality studies. She is also the resident sex expert at SexualAlpha, a website dedicated to helping people explore their bodies and sexual wellness products.

Courtney Padjen, PhD, LMFT, is a sex therapist and the owner of the Minneapolis-based Centre for Sexual Wellness.

What Is the Cowgirl Sex Position?

Also known as girl-on-top (though it’s not actually necessary that a girl has to be on top), the cowgirl sex position is “a versatile position that can be adjusted to suit different preferences and comfort levels,” sex therapist Aliyah Moore, PhD, says. In order to get into it, one partner lies down on their back while the other partner climbs on top and straddles their partner’s hips — just like they would when riding a horse. Once the on-top partner is comfortable, they can begin to move up and down or grind against the bottom partner, all while controlling the speed and depth of penetration, Dr. Moore says.

Cowgirl Sex Position Benefits

Though there are many reasons why people love the cowgirl sex position, the biggest reason could be because it puts the partner on top in control, sex therapist Courtney Padjen, PhD, says. This allows the partner to control the pace, depth, and speed of penetration, all according to what feels best for their body.

Compared to something like doggy, cowgirl is an extremely intimate sex position. “Facing each other during the cowgirl position allows for increased physical and emotional intimacy between partners,” Dr. Moore says. For those whose love language is physical touch, this position allows you to have plenty of that: you can kiss, embrace, and hug, all while having sex.

As if that wasn’t enough, the angles in the cowgirl position are also amazing for the person on top if they have a clitoris, Dr. Moore says. The angle provides “direct stimulation to the clitoris” and can lead to a “more intense orgasm” she adds.

Cowgirl Sex Position Tips

Don’t be afraid to pair the position with a sex toy. Because the cowgirl sex position allows for direct stimulation to the clitoris, you can enhance the experience even more with a vibrator. If on top, hold it on your clitoris yourself or tell your partner to hold it there themselves.

Mix up your cowgirl sex position with a variation of the classic. If things start to feel mundane, you can try switching up the position into a reverse cowgirl. This is the same position as cowgirl, except the person on top is turned around and facing their partner’s feet and not their head. (Hence the “reverse” part.) “This variation provides a different angle of penetration,” Dr. Moore says. But maybe even more importantly, it’s a great view of the booty. For another way to level up this position, you can move your cowgirl sex from the bed to a chair for a different type of sensation as well.

Spell a word with your hips when on top. If you’re not sure how exactly to “ride” on top, an easy hack is to spell a word with your hips like “coconut.” This will help you to focus on the pleasure and sensations without feeling fumbly and awkward.

Focus on your pleasure instead of insecurities. If you’re nervous about the girl-on-top sex position because your body is fully on display, concentrate on the pleasure you’re receiving, Dr. Moore suggests. Know that while it’s completely natural to feel insecure or unsure at times, especially when trying new things in the bedroom, your body experiencing pleasure during sex is an amazingly erotic experience for both parties. If you’d rather not have your body on display, though, Dr. Padjen suggests wearing a sexy slip or lingerie. You can also dim the lights, which could also help to enhance the mood. Just remember that your body is what is allowing you to reach these amazing levels of pleasure, so no need to hide it or feel ashamed by it when you’re on top.

Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.