Tim “Herb” Alexander wants everyone to know he’s okay. Days earlier, Primus — the drummer’s now-former band — announced in a statement that Alexander had “abruptly” quit the band, leading fans to speculate about his health.
“I’m feeling really good,” Alexander — who suffered two heart attacks nearly a decade ago, in addition to the wear of drumming for almost a half-century — tells Rolling Stone in an exclusive interview days after his Primus exit was revealed. “I’m dealing with all the aches and pains, but I’m doing things to strengthen my body and to strengthen my relationships and to strengthen my mind … I’m the happiest I think I’ve ever been. I’m not looking at this like, ‘I can’t function anymore, I got to quit.’ I feel good, I feel strong, but I’ve had to make these changes to get to this point.”
Instead, there were other factors that weighed into his decision. “A lot of times, you do something you love for a long time, and sometimes the passion turns into a job, and sometimes that job doesn’t feel like it’s your being anymore,” he says.
“Over time, I started realizing that it was affecting my physical life, it was affecting my mental life, and it was affecting my family life, and my heart just wasn’t in it,” he adds. “When I discovered that I’m struggling with all these things, I had to sit and think about exactly what am I doing. I don’t think I’ve ever chosen my path in life, I think I’ve just always thought ‘I’m a drummer, I’m just gonna do music,’ and things came to me, accepting whatever happens.”
Though not the band’s founding drummer, Alexander was considered part of Primus’ “classic” lineup, joining the group in 1989 and appearing on their 1990 debut album Frizzle Fry and breakout LPs Sailing the Seas of Cheese and Pork Soda. While Alexander previously left Primus on a pair of occasions, he rejoined the band a decade ago and remained a member until the band’s October 29 statement announcing he’d quit.
“Initially, I wrote this letter from my heart to those guys, to let them know [I was leaving]… It was very heartfelt, it was very loving, I said positive things about how much I appreciated them and how much admiration there was,” Alexander said of notifying his bandmates.
“So it was very surprising that only certain parts would be released to the whole world,” alluding to the band’s statement that pull-quoted Alexander simply saying he “lost his passion for playing.” In response, Alexander has shared a letter with Rolling Stone (below) explaining his departure in his own words, a statement that echoes much of what he told the band.
In Primus’ social media statement, bassist-singer Les Claypool and guitarist Larry LaLonde said they will continue on with their scheduled dates, including a pair of New Year’s concerts in Oakland, before “searching for the ‘greatest drummer on Earth’” to replace Alexander. When asked if he considered performing in Primus’ Oakland shows — Alexander lives in the Bay Area — and using those gigs as a proper send-off to the band, the fans, and his tenure, Alexander admits, “I just didn’t feel it.”
“I wouldn’t being authentic to myself,” he added. “I would be doing it with everyone thinking that it’s a send-off, but I’m already off. And I really, really don’t like playing drums where every time I hit a drum I’m like ‘Ugh, this isn’t where I want to be.’ It doesn’t feel good, it feels terrible on the body.”
Tim “Herb” Alexander (Photo by Mat Hayward/Getty Images)
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In his letter to fans, Alexander discusses his “next chapter,” which he tells Rolling Stone includes working with future musicians via his Stick Academy online drum school — “That’s where I want to help people,” he said — but he didn’t rule out returning to music someday.
“I really can only focus on right now, and it’s pretty overwhelming what I’m going through. I don’t know musically how my life will progress,” he says. “This is not saying ‘no’ to anything, but I’m not saying ‘hell yes’ to anything, until I know.”
Tim Alexander‘s Full Statement on Why He Quit Primus:
“I know there are a lot of questions about why I quit Primus and feel it’s important to share my story – for myself as well as our fans. Stepping away from Primus has been one of the most challenging decisions of my life, but ultimately, it came down to love—for myself, my family, and the life I want to create moving forward. I chose a path of love.
With regard to what I said to the band about ‘losing my passion for playing,’ I did say that. But I also said: “All of these tours left me feeling empty. My body hurts constantly.” This context is important. I also told them they deserve someone who wants to be there. And I meant it. As far as ‘abruptly’ goes, I suppose there’s never the perfect time to leave something you’ve been a part of for so long. Bands have their own inner workings and are a relationship. Sometimes it doesn’t feel balanced, and sometimes it doesn’t work out.
Over the past months, I’ve been in a place of deep healing and intensive mental health rehabilitation, learning to confront struggles I’ve carried for years. In this period of solitude, I’ve started to see with new clarity what no longer serves me, the people and situations that do not support my well-being, and the parts of my life I need to let go of to find peace and stability.
When I first joined Primus, I was 24 years old. I’m almost 60 now and not just a drummer, but also a husband and a dad. Being a drummer for almost four decades has taken its toll on my body. As I said previously, my body hurts. My hands hurt. My back hurts. Ten years ago, I had open heart surgery and am still dealing with the aftermath.
For so many years of my life, I slept, breathed and lived the music, giving it everything I had – and often at the expense of both my physical and mental health. Drumming is a strenuous profession – and coupled with touring and performing it can be exhausting on every level. But I love drumming and always will. Just as I will always hold so much love and appreciation for our fans, the music we made, the places we went and everything I learned along the way.
When we were coming up as young musicians, it was a different world than it is today. There wasn’t a focus on how this life affected us – it just wasn’t talked about – and I think we lost a lot of amazing musicians over the years because of that. I no longer feel the need to hide the fact that for the last year I wasn’t happy and was in a dark place emotionally. I desperately missed my family while on tour and felt very lonely.
My decision to leave the band was rooted in a deep need to prioritize my mental and physical health. I want to give my family the presence and energy they deserve and take care of myself in a way that allows me to thrive.
I view this next chapter as a positive fresh beginning that can hopefully inspire others to speak and live their own truths, even when it’s hard. I wish the band continued success; and to the fans who have stood by me, I want to thank you for your compassion and words of kindness. Your support has been a source of strength for me, and while I’m closing this chapter, I’m excited to explore a new path forward—one grounded in love, respect, and health.”