Wednesday, September 18, 2024

Why Am I So Horny? 3 Sexual Health Experts Explain

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From seeing your partner stretch in the morning to watching Ryan Gosling do just about anything, there are a million reasons in the world that could make you ask yourself, “Why am I so horny?” But the truth is, the answer largely depends on your individual sexual interests and preferences.

One person might get hot and bothered over a man bun, whereas someone else might be all about people with buzz cuts or who are completely bald. And while you might hear someone on a sexy Netflix show talk about their need for masturbation or partnered sex multiple times a day, a couple times a month might work just beautifully for your horniness level — not to mention your schedule.

No matter how you get horny, it largely comes from a physiological or psychological response, or emotional arousal, psychologist Shannon Chavez, PsyD, says. “The factors that influence being turned on are a subjective variety of sexual stimuli that registers and activates the arousal response in the brain,” she explains. “This is different for everyone.” (Some people even get horny when they’re hungover!)

If you’re wondering exactly what could be contributing to why you feel so horny, here are a few research-backed (and not-so-scientific) reasons, according to Dr. Chavez and other experts. Never Google “Why am I so horny?” again.

Experts Featured in This Article

Shannon Chavez, PsyD, is a psychologist and sex therapist in Los Angeles.

Carol Queen, PhD, is a sexologist for sex toy retailer Good Vibes.

Laurie Mintz, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and sex therapist.

Why Am I So Horny?

Here are several reasons your sex drive might be surging, according to experts.

1. Your hormones are fluctuating in just the right way.

We tend to hear that higher levels of androgens, like testosterone, could be a case for ’round-the-clock horniness. But the reality is a little more nuanced, and other hormones can be related to this as well, Carol Queen, PhD, says. For example, there might be points during your menstrual cycle — like around ovulation, when estrogen and oxytocin (aka the “love hormone”) peak — when you’re hornier than usual. Hormone fluctuations might also contribute to more intense states of physiological arousal, which can intensify the mental experience of feeling turned on, Dr. Chavez explains.

2. You’re already having a lot of sex or masturbating frequently.

Turns out, a body in this particular kind of motion stays in motion — or at least wants to. “For many people, the more sex you have, including with yourself, the more sex you want,” sex therapist Laurie Mintz, PhD, says. “This is why sex therapists often recommend masturbation for people with diminished desire.”

Dr. Chavez agrees: “[Masturbation] can help improve your arousal response and mind-body connection, leading to more consistent desire. This is true especially for women. When women masturbate more regularly, they become aware of physiological changes that cue arousal such as changes in circulation, breath, and genital engorgement.” And that bolstered self-awareness can fuel your horniness.

3. You have a crush.

Whether you’re freaking out about a new sexy coworker or someone you just swiped right on, having a crush can result in elevated horniness. “The combination of risk and obsession during a crush can boost desire by igniting all levels of arousal — emotional, physical, and mental,” Dr. Chavez explains. She adds that being infatuated with someone spikes your dopamine, the neurotransmitter involved in reward and motivation, and lowers your serotonin, the neurotransmitter that regulates mood and cognition. “This altered state can lead to intense feelings of desire.”

4. It’s Scorpio season — or you have Scorpio placements.

The eighth sign of the zodiac is basically the sign of sex, so don’t be surprised if, during Scorpio season, you’re feeling extra frisky. If you have your sun, moon, rising, or any other personal placements in your birth chart in Scorpio, you’re also probably horny 24/7.

5. You’re in a new relationship.

Dr. Queen refers to the power of “new relationship energy” as an actual thing that can definitely power up your horniness level. “The newness is part of it — there has been no time to establish a rut! — and so is the period of bonding that many new partners undergo,” she explains. “Some of it can definitely be fueled by sex and desire, which can then contribute to higher libido, especially if the sex is satisfying.”

6. You just took the kink test on TikTok.

Finding out just how kinky you are via an online kink test from TikTok could have you feeling particularly proud of your results and ready to pounce on your partner. Based on your kink results, you can use that information to try new things in the bedroom — like maybe a new sex position? A new role-play idea? A new fetish? The world is your oyster.

7. You’re eating foods that naturally boost libido.

Sure, you’ve probably heard about sex-drive-boosting foods like oysters, which are supposedly aphrodisiacs, but there is not really a food that you can eat that will make you instantly horny, Dr. Mintz notes. “However, some foods do increase circulation and/or serotonin, which may help overall boost your drive,” she notes, citing salmon and eggs as a couple of examples. Similarly, one study found that daily apple consumption was linked to higher arousal in women. “Still, the bottom line is that better nutrition leads to better health, which can lead to a higher sex drive,” Dr. Mintz says.

8. You just watched Travis Kelce flaunt his gentlemanly prowess in new paparazzi pics with Taylor Swift.

Watching a talented, funny, handsome, 6’5″ NFL star treating his icon girlfriend like a total queen in front of the whole freakin’ world might just be a cause for intense, increased horniness. (The relationship timeline between Kelce and Swift will definitely have you feeling some type of way.)

9. You’re hungover.
Yes, as odd as it sounds, hangover horniness is a thing. Despite feeling like you have to throw up and chug water simultaneously, a reason why you’re so horny could be because you’re hungover. Why? Because your body’s way of craving some feel-good endorphins that come after sex.

Regardless of why you’re horny, remember that it’s not a problem to be horny in the first place. The fact of the matter is that your sex drive will likely spike and dip over time, depending on a variety of factors, from hormones to how often you’re exercising or if you have a really intense crush. But if you find yourself in a phase where you’re fantasizing about your next hookup or looking forward to your next solo romp with your vibrator pretty much constantly, embrace it. As long as your sex drive isn’t causing you or others distress and you’re able to address it in a way that’s healthy for everyone involved — even if that’s just you, yourself — it’s perfectly normal, Dr. Chavez says.

No matter how horny you are — or aren’t — you’ll do well not to compare yourself to others, Dr. Queen says. “We all bring different levels of desire, responsiveness, preferences, and so on to our sex lives (or lack of them),” she notes. “There is not a clear norm, and when people think there is, they often suffer from anxiety over whether they fit it.”

Maressa Brown is a journalist, author, and astrologer. Her areas of expertise include writing, reporting, and editing lifestyle, pop culture, and parenting content that’s both conversational and substantive. In addition to contributing to PS, she writes for a variety of consumer-facing publications including InStyle, Parents, and Shape, and was previously an editor at Cosmopolitan and CafeMom.



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