Grinding Sex Toys: How to Use, Expert Advice and 5 Best Toys

Do you ever find yourself nostalgic for the days of dry humping? Does grinding on a partner’s thigh, a couch arm, or a pillow get you off? Look no further: we’ve compiled the best sex toys to elevate that experience.

Designed for external stimulation, grinder sex toys are pleasure products that you can hump or grind on for maximum sensation. Available with or without a motor, these toys cover a larger surface area than your typical pinpoint vibrator, stimulating the entire vulva.

While the glans is the only visible part of the clitoris, the body part extends internally, which is where much of the magic happens. “Grinding is essential when it comes to penetrative vulva pleasure,” sex expert Amy Baldwin tells PS. “The clitoris is a vulva owner’s powerhouse of pleasure, and most of the clitoral structure is located on or just below the external genital region. Grinding provides both direct and indirect stimulation to the areas that not only have the most nerve endings, but are also the only body parts solely designed for pleasure.”

Even if you don’t have a vulva, grinding toys can be enjoyed by all. To experiment with sex toys that are already in your collection, you can always add a sex toy mount that holds the toy for you. That said, we highly recommend opting for one designed specifically for the job.

Experts Featured in This Article

Amy Baldwin is a sex educator, coach, and cohost of the podcast “Shameless Sex.”

Lisa Finn is a certified sex educator and the marketing director for sex toy retailer Babeland.

How to Grind, According to Experts

There’s no wrong way to grind, but for most people, it’s all about the amount of friction and pressure applied. Toys with a greater surface area or a “lay-on” design that cups the vulva can stimulate more nerve endings and provide a more comfortable surface to grind on, whether you’re applying pressure with your hand, straddling it, or laying down on top of it.

To grind solo, sex educator Lisa Finn suggests folding a pillow in half or grinding against something firmer like the arm of a couch or a rounded, firm sex pillow like the Whirl.

For partnered sex, Finn adds, “You can pair any of these activities with hand or mouth-based sex — giving oral while grinding against a toy or a pillow can be a hot way to share the pace of the movements, moving your whole body with each thrust of your hips so your mouth goes deeper against their body as you rock back and forth.” Baldwin also suggests the cowgirl position to provide customizable pressure and grinding.

However you grind, you’ll want to ensure you have plenty of good lube. When playing with a silicone toy, opt for a long-lasting water-based lubricant. “Grinding is all about movement and friction, and you want that rubbing to stay pleasurable no matter how long you’re playing or how hard you’re bearing down while you grind,” Finn says. “Using lube will cut down on friction that can grip and pull at the sensitive skin of the vulva in an unpleasurable way, and can provide a delightful glide to increase sensation.”

The 5 Best Grinding Sex Toys

Best Grinding Toy Overall

Laya III ($109)

The Laya III is a user-friendly lifetime investment with easy-to-control, accessible buttons, and micro-adjustments that let you find that just right setting. Its curved shape hugs the pubic bone or, when moved lower, the perineum and anus. Users can enjoy it hands-free (by laying on top or placing it in a toy mount), pressed against their pubic bone when seated, or lying down during masturbation. It can also be added to partnered sex for a game-changing take on grinding during cowgirl.

Best Grinding Toy For Beginners

We-Vibe Touch X ($74, originally $99)

This buzz-worthy vibe is the ultimate grinding toy for newbies and pros alike. It features We-Vibe’s signature rumbly but quiet vibrations, buttery-soft silicone that’s slightly squishy, and highly intuitive buttons for those new to grinding. The Touch X is perfect for masturbating alone or for use with a partner during sex of any kind, fitting seamlessly into your session. With eight intensity levels and seven patterns, there’s plenty of room to experiment with this toy.

Best Grinding Toy For Sensitive Bodies

Maia Shroomie ($45)

A lot of folks enjoy grinding on the Magic Wand, but if you want an ultra-squishy head to rub aggressively on with no remorse, consider the whimsical Maia Shroomie. It has a head similar to a wand, providing broad stimulation, but it is much softer, which allows for greater pressure as you rub or grind on it. It is a perfect pick for anyone sensitive to hard vibrators.

Best Grinding Toy For Straddling

Orion Vibepad ($109)

Sometimes nothing gets the job done like thigh-grinding. It covers a broad surface area and, like this grinding pad by Orion, hits multiple spots simultaneously, letting you channel your inner cowgirl. Two independently controlled motors can stimulate the vulva, perineum, and anus, and an included remote allows you to switch things up easily. It can be placed on a pillow or any other surface, which users can then straddle.

Best Grinding Dildo

Fun Factory Ryde Double-Ended Dildo ($90)

Fun Factory’s Ryde is the Swiss Army knife of sex toys, and it’s ideal for people who don’t want a side of vibration with their grinding. It’s also great for folks who enjoy penetrative toys. For external grinding, sit in the crux of this v-shaped, harness-compatible dildo, which stays still thanks to a strong suction base. To mix things up, insert one end of the toy and use the other as a handle, or insert both for double penetration.

Naima Karp is a sexual wellness and lifestyle writer with more than a decade of experience. She prides herself on writing empowering articles that promote inclusivity and awareness for readers, presented through a unique lens. In addition to PS, Naima has written freelance content for digital publications like Spy, Well+Good, and Variety.