What Is a Sex Anniversary? A Relationship Expert Explains

Anniversaries are out; sex anniversaries are in — at least, according to Kourtney Kardashian Barker. In a June 12 episode of “The Kardashians,” the oldest Kardashian sister shared that she celebrates the anniversary of the first time she ever had sex with husband Travis Barker. “You have one life on this planet and we like to have an extra reason to celebrate,” she said in the episode.

According to relationship expert Nicole Moore, celebrating your sexiversary is one of the better suggestions to come from the Kardashians. “It’s such a smart idea for couples who want to prioritize sexual intimacy,” Moore tells PS. “For many couples, the first time they were intimate really is a special moment that does deserve to be celebrated.”

Though Kardashian’s other ideas like drinking semen and packing vials of blood in the hospital bag may be more questionable, here’s why she may actually be onto something with a sex anniversary.

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Nicole Moore is a relationship therapist and founder of the “Love Works Method,” a program that has helped people find lasting love fast.

What Is a Sex Anniversary?

A sex anniversary is the celebration of the first time you had sex with your partner. Whether it’s the anniversary of the first time you had penetrative sex or the first time you ever did anything sexual, that’s for you to decide. “Sex means different things to different people, so celebrating a sex anniversary doesn’t have to mean traditional intercourse. It can be whatever the couple deems as their first sexual experience together,” Moore says.

The main benefit of celebrating a sex anniversary: it’s a fun excuse to have sex, of course. “A sex anniversary is a great way for couples to explore fun new fantasies, new positions, or anything else to spice up their sex life since the mood is often celebratory and adventurous on a sex anniversary,” Moore adds.

In Kardashian’s case, she celebrated by gifting Barker the actual wedding rings from “True Romance,” the movie they watched together the night they had sex for the first time. That said, you don’t have to give your partner a tangible item to celebrate your sex anniversary: You can use it as an opportunity to explore a new kink, role-play a fantasy you’ve always wanted to try, or attempt some new sex positions. You could even recreate the first time you ever had sex.

If you don’t mind spending a little extra money, however, you can give your partner some sexy photos of you from a boudoir photo shoot or buy a new vibrator or sex toy that would enhance your sex life, suggests Moore. In the case that you really want to ball out, Moore says purchasing a hotel for the night would be a great idea to “focus on each other without distractions” — especially if you have children.

Of course, celebrating a sex anniversary is not necessary, and if you have trouble remembering the date of your traditional anniversary, the last thing you may want to do is add another date to your calendar. But a sex anniversary can help you reignite some spark and passion in your relationship. As Moore says, “anything that connects you more to your partner is always a good idea.”

Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more. In her six years working in editorial, she’s written about how semen is digested, why sex aftercare is the move, and how the overturn of Roe killed situationships.