Even though it can be hard to admit, many of us struggle with making new friends in our 20s.
After graduating college, it takes a while to settle into post-grad life as you learn to juggle work, family, romantic relationships, and general responsibilities. Sometimes, meeting new people feels like an unnecessary added task. As time goes on, however, people move away and relationships evolve, creating space for new friends to come into your life.
“Your 20s is the foundation that primarily sets the direction of your life. It is the crucial time of discovery because most of our life before this we have been told who we are,” says friendship expert Chanel Jack. “People overall can leave you better, or worse, so who you choose to be friends with and associate with is critical and has a direct impact on your quality of life.”
In addition to putting yourself out there, the hardest part about making new friends might just be knowing where to look. Keep reading for ways to meet potential new friends.
Experts Featured in This Article
Chanel Jack is a friendship coach, author, podcast host, and founder of Girl Code Media.
How to Make Friends in Your 20s
Find a “Third Place” and Become a Regular
One of the best ways to meet new people is to look around at the places you frequent. Whether a local bar, coffee shop, or dance class, you and your fellow regulars likely already share that space in common. It might be nerve-racking, but if you see a familiar face, don’t hesitate to introduce yourself. If you recognize them, odds are they’ll recognize you too.
Swap Info After Small Talk
It’s common to strike up a quick chat with a stranger while waiting in line or just out and about, and once the conversation dies down, it’s 100 percent OK to go your separate ways. But, if you’d love to continue chatting, this is the perfect opportunity to let them know you’d love to get to know them as friends and ask for their info.
After you swap information, it’s important to follow up with them regularly – a crucial part that most people miss. “It’s not enough to just meet people, you have to put in the work to cultivate and nurture those relationships,” Jack says. Recently, while shopping for my next book, I met a girl who was so kind and funny. We vibed, so I asked for her Instagram. We’ve since hung out, and I’m glad I ran into her while on a random Barnes & Noble run.
Go to Events Alone
Whether you’re extremely extroverted or get anxious in social situations, attending events alone can feel daunting. That said, it allows you to get out of your comfort zone and talk to new people, with the freedom to leave whenever you want.
For New Year’s Eve this year, I went to a Club 90s event by myself. I’m not going to lie, it took a little while for me to get comfortable, but after some dancing and a couple of drinks, I met a few girls on the dance floor and in the girl’s bathroom who have since become great friends. If I had waited for friends to come with me or just stayed in, I would’ve never met them, and what a loss that would be.
Plan a Bring-a-Friend Activity
In my opinion, there’s no better way to meet new people than through your friends. No, you won’t become besties with all of your friend’s friends, but it is a great opportunity to make new connections with people who have already been vetted by someone you trust. Consider planning a game night, or meet for a round of bowling. Creating a space with some familiar faces that is lighthearted and fun is the perfect setting for new friendships to blossom.
Post a Question to Your Mutuals on Social Media
For most of us, our mutuals on social media are a mixed bag of people from different points in our lives. From childhood friends to random people we met on a night out, there isn’t one monolith they all fall into. This creates the perfect scenario to survey the people we already know for outings and activities we want to try out.
At the start of the year, I created a “side quest” bingo card consisting of fun activities I wanted to try out in 2024, ranging from a tequila tasting to skydiving. I posted it to my Instagram Stories to see who would be interested in doing any with me, and surprisingly, a handful of people swiped up, giving me a list of people to reach out to when making plans. Social media is expansive and full of possibilities, so why not use it as a tool to enhance your social life?
Attend a Local Meetup or Group Event
There has been an influx of networking and activity-based groups to combat the ongoing loneliness epidemic. Organizations like the The Women’s Social Club or Drinks First are great places to start, as they host events regularly with people who crave similar connections. These groups are great if you recently moved to a new city or just want a new environment to meet new people.
Check Out Local Events
Planning events can be exhausting, and sometimes, you just want to simply join in on the fun. Tapping into your city’s local events can help you find a new sense of community. With annual events like a restaurant week or more frequent meet-ups, like First Fridays and farmers markets, there are plenty of spaces to connect with local vendors and community members. You can find many local events by checking out your city’s local tourism website.
Don’t Forget to Invest in the Friends You Already Have
“Make time for the friends you already have,” Jack says, “and continue to love on them while you are on the journey to expanding your circle.” As you prioritize making new connections, try to avoid pushing aside the friends you have made along the way. Some friendships may fade over time, but the friendships you hold dear shouldn’t be put on the back burner. Continue to invest in these bonds, and maybe they’ll join you in your quest to meet new people.
Daria Yazmiene is a freelance writer, social media manager, and advocate for BIPOC communities. She is a proud graduate of Arizona State University’s Walter Cronkite School of Journalism.